Date Night

by Amy

Ok, so when we lived in America, Brad and I loved our date nights. We were apart of a date-night-swap which meant we didn't even have to pay for babysitting. So, when we got to our new country we were committed to having date nights, even if it meant we had to pay for a sitter. So, soon after we moved into our apartment, my English-speaking language tutor, Maggie, offered to watch our kids while we went out. (Babysitters are non-existent in our country as so many in-laws live near or with their kids and are always available to watch the grandchild.) But Maggie had heard that Americans like to date even after they are married, so she thought she should offer to watch our kids for us since we don't have any family in town.

For the last several months Maggie has come to our home once every other week to feed our kids dinner and play with them while Brad and I go out. I must admit, at first, I was a little uneasy about leaving my kids with her. Granted, she's 27 years old, but had never babysat any kids before (not when they were awake, at least.) And, she didn't seem to have a really firm hand, and three-year old twin boys often require a firm hand, if you know what I mean. But, I decided that as long as my kids were alive when I got home, I'd be thrilled to have a few hours out with Brad.....

After the first few times she babysat us, both Peter and Alex ended up being disciplined for not obeying Maggie's sweet, quiet, little voice. But the last several times have gone much better. We're never exactly sure what goes on while we're going, but choose to operate under the "don't ask -- don't tell" mentality. Several times in the last week both Peter and Alex, separately, have said, "I want Mommy and Daddy to go bye-bye so Maggie can stay with me." After the first request, I thought it was so sweet that they love Maggie so much. But, after several more requests for Maggie, I began to wonder what really happens here when we're gone....

So, last night was our date night. I fixed the kids dinner plates and had them ready to go in the microwave. I told Maggie that if they ate all their dinner they could have some cherished chocolate pudding (straight from America!) I put some in three bowls and requested that she not give them anymore. But, Maggie often seems concerned about how much, or how little my kids eat, so I told her that if that they were still hungry, they could have some fruit from the frig. Then, I specifically said, "When they leave the dinner table, they may not eat any more the rest of the evening. So, if they don't eat all of their dinner, they maybe hungry later, but that's OK." (I figured they'd all eat all their dinner since I gave them several leftover options to choose from and had chocolate pudding waiting in the wings as a motivator!) I was right. Everyone ate all of their dinner, pudding and even some fruit. Plus, our kids said they didn't want water for dinner, so instead they drank a gallon of apple juice. :) About an hour after dinner was over someone discovered the homemade oatmeal cinnamon chocolate chip cookies in the pantry. So they convinced Maggie that they were still very hungry and needed to eat these cookies. But who can eat cookies without milk.... When Maggie was relaying all of this to us, she said, "So, I gave them cookies, and then they ordered milk to go with it." Ordered!? So, when Maggie's here our home turns into a restaurant! The locals here typically are very concerned about children eating enough. I've heard stories about parents chasing their children around the house with a bowl of rice trying to get them to eat their dinner. Yes, that's right, chasing their kids around the house during dinner time with a bowl of rice...very different parenting philosophies. :) But this might give some insight as to why Maggie would be hesitant to deny them food when they claim they are hungry.

Additionally, we often let our kids watch a movie on the computer while we're gone. So, they get the movie going and low and behold, Savannah requests popcorn. "Every time we watch a movie, we eat popcorn," she says so convincingly. Thankfully Maggie is not familiar with how to pop my imported microwave popcorn so she turns down that request, assuring Savannah that if she knew how to, she would make it for them, since popcorn always goes with a movie!

So, now we know why our kids are so eager for us to leave them with Maggie -- She let's them eat whatever they want! I have to admit we got a good laugh listening to her recap the night. I decided that next time I'm going to hide all of the food that might be of interest to the kids and see what happens!